…But being outed by my Mother ain’t one.
I’ve always wondered what being outed was going to be like. I live in a small town. I felt like it was only a matter of time. Someone who knew me, who was also kinky, was going to find me on Fetlife. They’d stare, open-mouthed, at my profile, and then decide to crawl back into their kinkster hole. I was fine with that. The only reason you’re on a kink site is because you’re kinky, right? … I ran out of fucks for those people a long time ago.
In my vanilla circles – There are numerous people that would guess that I’m kink-friendly. There are very few people, a close circle, who know the level of BDSM that I participate in. This circle knows that I’m a sex blogger. No one has ever asked for my moniker, so I’ve never given it up.
In my kink circles – I lead my local kink group. Everyone I meet through that process knows me on Fetlife. I give out my handle at cons. I’ve met some of my closest friends in my kink circles. They know me by my first, middle, and last names. They know more about how I feel than most of my family does. I can be myself with them.
How was I outed? I blame Facebook and my Mother. I’m serious. Those fuckers.
Facebook has that feature where it asks you if you know this person or that person. I had a family account, when I was still trying to pretend that I had a family. I’m figuring that maybe my profile either popped up or my nosy Mother was signed into my sister’s account when she tried to friend The Sin Doll on Twitter.
When I found out that my family knew, I was advised by another sex blogger of my choices. It basically came down to; The Sin Doll could vanish. Or I could say, “Fuck it.” Every picture, every thought, and every story tumbled in my head. I’d like to say the decision was easy, but the tumbling was like rocks.
Through conversation and realization, I now know what I do isn’t going to change any relationship I have with anyone I care about. I don’t know who it will even surprise. And I don’t like the alternative. I don’t want to disappear. I’ve been here for four years. It’s going to take more than some low-down fuckery to do away with The Sin Doll.
I come from a very church-oriented family. Good Baptist people. The kind that are in the pews every time the doors are open. Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday evenings. They pay their tithes, but on Tuesday-Saturday they gossip, drink their beer, jack off to porn, beat their kids, and even use fake internet names to spy on their family.
Enjoy the reading.
Y’all will have a ton to talk about come Sunday.
~The Sin Doll
I’ve got to thank @Mollysdailykiss and @DomSigns for taking the time with me during “damage control,” and also helping me to process my feelings during all this. Y’all rock.